You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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