he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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