it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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