I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize