he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
