sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
