Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
