I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
