having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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