i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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