Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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