oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
