I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
