Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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