help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
