the day after is always just damage control
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
