Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
