Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so let's talk penis.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
