also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
