wakey wakey hands off snakey
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I need moral support for this bender
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
