it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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