i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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