Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
