it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
