WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
