My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
pray to the hookup gods
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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