I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
