Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
