so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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