69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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