were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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