whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
