The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
