his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
