i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I want her autograph on my taint
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
