I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
