eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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