if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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