And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
