She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
