Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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