i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
