On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
