is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
