and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
