When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I love you. Go after that dick
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
