OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just want nice things and good sex
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
