Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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