i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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