I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize