what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
