ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize