I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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