I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
