Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
