All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
