It's Friday. Sex?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize