i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
