Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
